Forging a new path

I headed off to Seattle the previous weekend and had some time to think about where my life was heading, what factors lead me to this point, and the different points of views about a variety of subjects. I would like to think of myself as a natural thinker. I think and reason my problems out. I tend to over think things and I feel that this might be a fault, either way, whats my point? …. Lost it.

Oh I remember…I compare things. Lately I’ve been fortunate to have examples of what my life could have been and what my life can become. Sure, no one is perfect (including myself) but there is a “almost perfect” level we can strive to attain. The take away from this weekend? Goals.

I used to jot down life-long goals and short term goals and post them up in front of my computer desk. Now, I do neither. Its not that I dont have any goals, its just that things which people believe to be goals are no brainers to me. But, there are some short term goals I would like to meet though. I want a family, and I want to finish my Masters degree. How things, many things change. The straight and narrow is a very hard path to stay on. I think I lost track. Now, to think about what my goals will be going forward…

Family. I had the luck of meeting a interesting family in Seattle this weekend. It felt nice to be in their home, around their kids, and around the vibe. It was nice to know I could ask questions and not receive a weird stair or candy-coated or “walk around the subject” answer. Direct, was good. Almost perfect is the word that comes to my head and I feel like nothing will change in my head about how i see them. “We make mistakes”, “You will make a mistake…when you make a mistake”, “We might have been brought up a certain way but that doesn’t mean we must be the same to our kids”. “It’s not about finance”, cherry-berry, and the myriad of pictures hung on the wall, the coffee tables, the toys on the stairs, the small kids table in the kitchen, the pen in the car with a missing hand. Huh. Interesting.

I will receive my degree even if it means giving up work for a while. I will reapply to that elusive and frustrating item again. Baby steps. If I can refocus again. I know I can get it going again. I guess im a bit scared of what comes next.

Armando Padilla – creating my path with a old hammer and a new anvil.

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