I usually turn up the stereo on the way back home, roll down the windows, and open the sunroof to let the cold air hit my face. Dont worry (not that you are :)) i usually have a sweater on or usually too intensely focused in thought that i zone out that im cold. Lately on my mind, friendship and relationships.
The best way to sum it up is, I feel like im starting from scratch. I feel like im being patient with otherwise stupid people just so i wont rock the boat.
Lately ive hear things like, “I still got it” referring to looks. I find it amusing, more like hysterical when i hear this. To me looks where never the main thing i looked for in a partner. What i did fall in love with and what I fall in love with is the form of which i can communicate with someone. If i can hold a conversation with someone for hours on end im hooked. Sadly this has also gotten me into BIG trouble but here too I realized that I can shut down feelings and compartamentaize people faster thereby solving that issue.
Happiness starts at home, and if thats the case im completly lacking it. I realized that having someone and loving them means a lot more to me now than before. Before it was easy, I could say yes I love someone and know what that meant. Now I have to gauge if the person is good here, good there, etc etc. Im sure this will make more sense as the days go by.
Armando Padilla – on