Tag: work

The challenge

It wasn’t until I left the meeting, came home, watched my wife put Amanda to sleep , and went into the home office that I started to think about what happened that morning and the conclusion that I came to. Having teams, divisions, companies reach goals while there are many negative factors is a high accomplishment.

I met an old coworker that morning heard the great things he was working on, the plans, the ambitious vision (which i do think he’ll complete), and thought to myself. I’m doing it wrong. And, What I wouldn’t give. I realized that the company he’s helped build operated with a different mentality and it was do to this mentality that it became and is successful. I guess you can say, I miss it.

Hitting reality
Reality. The reality of the situation though, my situation, is different. Though I wish my teams under me reach the point his entire company runs under reach and I reach the point where I think and plan like he does, I realize I’ve had success with a very critical component which he might never encounter do to the culture of the company he runs. How to reach goals, milestones, when not all pieces either cant or wont operate at 100% and you have no option but to keep the problems is a challenge.

So far, the formula i’ve implemented is and has shown results. Some believe it to be me putting in long hours (it’s not), or me doing the work for my teams (it’s not), it’s simply observing, looking at the process, and identifying pain points. Yes some times the pain points are personnel based but most of the time it’s not. Yes it does bring unwanted stress since I cant simply move the problem out of the situation like my friend can but it helps me work with what I have to the highest degree.

What am I getting at?
Working and delivering results in a non ideal environment is a great challenge that not many people can succeed at. Though I sometimes wish I had the wiggle room to remove continued problems knowing that results were attained under non ideal conditions is great.

The challenge? Not to get discouraged.

Armando Padilla

Not Knowing.

I’m sitting at my desk at work. Listening to Led Zepplin’s, Ten Years Gone. Lately, yes again, I’ve been thinking about what I will leave behind. I keep feeling like something is missing. Not in the love, relationship, family, or work catergory but in the human category. What exactly have I left for humanity to use and build on. Sadly nothing.

I always thought that working on a project which had “help” or “real world impact” was going to be the key to filling in this void but that road which I thought was going to allow me to contribute now seems like a long long looong distance away.

In numerous occasions I tried to work for the gov. but to no avail. A total of 3 times I tried to achieve this goal. The place were I thought I could have real world impact. Once I made it to DC where I failed to pass the polygraph. Now I know why I failed to pass. I did a pretty stupid thing while young and in the tech industry and it’s this that shut the door on me.

The last time I applied, I was interviewed locally but with a laugh was told “No”. Now I sit here as a Vice President in Engineering wondering if I remained persistent would I have finally worked there? Not sure.

There’s a lot of stuff im currently doing which my heart isnt really into. In all truth, my concern is with my legacy and what will people say about my code, my work ethic, and my family. School, I stopped caring. Reason? Realized that school, with 1 class and a thesis isnt working for me. Does it mean Im going to give up? Far from it, I’ll finish but paying close to 4k a quarter with no added value is proving difficult to stomach.

Amanda, I would say. Dont give up even when you think you cant do it. I wont give you a lecture on the merits of not giving up here but I will say, it’s about giving that extra second, minute, hour of effort and less to do with how smart you are. For those that will call you smart, brush them off. Its about the extra effort.

31. And I feel like I have yet to understand but I’m starting to understand that thats life. I will never catch up to knowing.

Armando Padilla – on. Knowing not knowing.