I had one of those days today. Not good not bad, just a day. It was satisfying. Days like these i feel like the load on my back was removed and I can take a deep breath and calm down. I actually took a loooong deep breath, held it for a bit and then exhaled. It felt like i reached the top. Now im drinking a bit of wine, listening to Rob Thomas (it was playing on a local radio station coming home, so i wanted to listen to it again)
Today I won. Its not over yet but today I realized that I already won. Maybe that’s the reason why i feel like a huge load has been lifted off my shoulders.
Armando Padilla – looking at the battlefield i can see my results.
Do you think that we run in the way we live our life? I used to run a few laps in the opposite direction everyone else was running at the local park in South Gate when i lived in Los Angeles. Now, I run with my head down trying to finish my 2 miles. I look occasionally up to see how much i have left. .60 miles, 1.20 miles. 2 miles, *click the stop button. Just get it done.
I used to climb mountains in my dreams, a few nights ago I had a dream of climbing a mountain that I used to easily reach its summit, this time i took the harder route. The terrain wasn’t the issue it just had a casino, escalators, and generally people getting in my way. Beware of fluff.
2 teachers come to mind right now. One told my mom i had low self-esteem, the other told my mom I was a big fish in a small pond but I knew that already so I grow complacent. He warned me that one day I will be introduced to a bigger fish. Still thinking why this keeps bugging me.
I have a new friend that reminds me too much of an old friend. The body is different but the person is the same. We meet the same soul in this short journey many times throughout our lives for a reason. I’m not sure why.
I have 30 years to go, give or take. Going to make it count somehow.
Armando Padilla – Zoning out at work usually means im thinking of one of the 5 things above.
So Im back to writing.
Im currently in class … “in. class”. Some guy is presenting his final but yea, the prof said 20 minutes we all stuck to 20 minutes and this guy is going on 1 hour…:-| not cool. So to make the point clear im not paying attention anymore. I could be an asshole and say, “this machine learning algo isnt applicable to this” OR say, “whats wrong with current libraries, most if not all of what you want can already be done with Java AND even PHP” but im not i dont want to be that know-it-all guy in the class since i know my presentation wasnt good either BUT at least it ddnt take up an hour of our time. Anywho.
Why is it so easy for kids to realize a number of things which adults seem to over complicate. I guess you can say that we see the consequences. Wasnt it so much easier then? Lately I’m realizing the end of friendships are much like the end of a relationship born out of love (or the concept of love). Theres a slooow drown out process, but it does have a process. Ive been through both and I think “breaking up” with a friend is much worse.
At this point I feel like its a game of managing both expectations and risk.
Armando Padilla – on …whatever.